*Ephesians 4:29*
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
*1 Peter 3:10*
"For, whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."
*James 3:9-12*
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
James makes it clear that the lives of Christians should not be characterized by evil speech. By making the analogy of both salt water and fresh water coming from the same spring (which is uncharacteristic of springs), he makes the point that it is uncharacteristic for a believer to have both praise and cursing come from his/her mouth. Nor is it characteristic for us to praise God on one hand and curse our brothers on the other. This, too, is uncharacteristic of a true believer.
Jesus explained that what comes out of our mouths is that which fills our hearts. Sooner or later, the evil in the heart comes out through the mouth in curses and swearing. But when our hearts are filled with the goodness of God, praise for Him and love for others will pour forth. Our speech will always indicate what is in our hearts. “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).
Why is it a sin to cuss / swear / curse? Sin is a condition of the heart, the mind, and “the inner man” (Romans 7:22), which is manifested in our thoughts, actions and words. When we swear and curse, we are giving evidence of the polluting sin in our hearts that must be confessed and repented of. Thankfully, our great God is “faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
I must confess, I did something no one should ever be proud off and was caught (by my 2 year old). I was cleaning up the house the other day and as I was doing so I stubbed my toe and a four letter word slipped out of my mouth, and yes, Jacob was right there. It hurt so bad, but Im not going to sugar coat anything, I have always struggled with my language and thanks to some wonderful preaching from Pastor Frank and a wake up call in realizing that my 2 year old is smarter than I think, I have since, signifigantly changed my vocabulary (unless Im watching a Seahawks game...j/k) I didnt think anything of it until I heard Jacob repeat that word the other day when he dropped his cherrios out of the bowl. I was taken back...and almost in denial. "My 2 year old did not just say what I think he did" ...oh boy. Then my mom told me she thought he said it again this weekend at her house...I was so embarassed. She told me not to make a big deal out of it with him and ignore it because he will realize it gets him attention, so instead I have just told him he cannot say that word and that Mommy shouldnt have said it either. To top it off...when we were at Wal-Mart tonight, he said it really loud in one of the aisles...Steven and I looked at each other and had no idea what to do. So I write this asking for help...I know many of you have never let a word slip so thankfully you havent had to deal with this but I want Jacob to know that its unacceptable without making too big of a scene. I'd love any advice you could give!!
Lesson learned.
5 comments:
I think you're doing the right thing by letting him know each time that it is not acceptable to say that word. I'm not a huge proponents of "ignoring it", because sooner or later if it's ignored, he's going to think it's okay to say that word and he could be on the playground, or school when it comes out. If the word continues to be said, then I would start putting him in timeout each time he says it too, and tell him why he's being put in timeout. It's also important for you, Steven, your parents and any other caregivers to be consistent with correcting him, so he knows he can't say it around some people and not others. That's just my two cents. Good luck!
Your mum is right when she says ignore him, and as others have said, let him know that it is unacceptable. That it is a "mean" word (or whatever you prefer to call it) and it is not nice or good to say, that God doesn't like those words, or something along those lines.
Tell him gently, and without making a big scene. As your mum said, he will think it gets him attention. And don't ever let anyone laugh about it, because then he will really think it's okay because it's "funny". Eventually it may lead to needing punishment, like timeout or whatever method you use, but hopefully you get rid of the problem before that needs to happen.
Samantha may be too young to talk, but I've been through this before with daycare kids and my little cousins.
Hang in there, it will be okay!
Melanie
Oh Wow Karen~ I have not advise for you. It sounds like you got great advise from your mom. But I do love what you have written. I needed to hear that. I am going to print it out in hopes it can help my mouth (during the Sea Hawk Games! HA) Let me know what you find out because if there is some mouth wash you can take and make the nasty words never return I am down!
Hang in there hun you are a wonderful mother and an amazing child of God.
-Massagegirly
I have been there...times two! I was very shocked the first time I had my 18m/o say "dammit mommy!" They sometimes make a game of the naughty words (yes words! I live with a sailor)...they say it, then say "thats a no no word!". We work two angles, I ignore it the first time, then they have to sit in time out if it continues. I hope with time, they wont be so fun to say!
Julia S.
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